goodbye raymond.

we had to let raymond go today. he has been sick for quite some time now and the past 2 days hasn't been able to stand up on his own. it was more difficult than i thought it would be. i was surprised, because me and greg have been planning for this day. we knew it was coming.

me and raymond took the final walk to the car and drove over to the vet's office. the man had to carry him in from the car. i walked to the back room and the doctor was there and asked if i had any questions. i had talked to the assistant when i called to make the appt. so, she had already gone over how this worked. he said there is no pain, they just go to sleep. seeing him there on the table with the doctor all in white broke me up. it was awkward and i didn't know what to do. the dr. said i did not need to be in there if i didn't want to. i went over and kissed raymond's head and turned away and left. i felt so sad. so very sad for him.

these last few months have been really hard on him. the dr. and the staff were all very nice and supportive. i am just not very good at being emotional like that in public. so, i left and returned to my empty car. and drove away. i pulled over and called greg and had a good cry. both of our hearts just felt heavy. but raymond is now resting. rest in peace raymond. you were so loved by all of us.